I have blogged very little since Ray got here, which is a shame since I write a horse blog and I finally have something to write. But I have been having a hard time with work/my manager/emotional stuff.
Yesterday I decided I was going to demand myself to get it together, so instead of going to ride (which has almost become a chore) I saw a friend who was at Stanford for a doc appointment, grabbed a few hard cider and a cupcake, then headed home. By the end of the night FaceTiming with the bf, talking with my mom, and researching I had a plan and a new attitude.
Seeing Teresa made me realize what I was forgetting in riding and life. Stressing about work, savings, and what am I doing with the next 15 years of my life wasn’t doing me any favors. Sure, I can’t be a idiot, but I need to have some perspective.
So I have a new plan, to only look 6 months ahead. For a person who has had their life into their 30s planned since they were 17 that’s a bit of a stretch.
But I am excited, I’ve condensed myself to closer, smaller goals and because of that have things to look forward to. So instead of planning weather the bf and I will get married in 3 years, I am planning and excited for our July trip to Calgary.
Instead of stressing about October 2015 and weather I will run for Miss Rodeo California; I am looking forward to showing at Grand National with Teresa (who looks up to me, and I adore with all my heart.)
Thanks to L being my guide and the fact that Ray is a saint/perfect, I haven’t worried too much about next year’s A circuit re debut! I am still planning into April (outside my 6 month window) but baby steps right?
At work I know things will be what they are going to be, I just have to be happy with myself and not let it physically shut down my body, like it has the past 2 months. Just like my mom said, I’m young, now is the only time I will be unattached and can make the career choices for only myself.
Sometimes you just need a cupcake and the perspective of a 17 year old to get you lined back out!
|Picture sent me to cheer me up.|